I remember the days when a weekly check in if not daily was the norm for me and my buddies and life had a different kind of pressure and was full of a different kind of grace.
What I’ve noticed with the less constant contact is a little sneaky factor that I never noticed before. … many of us are looping.
What’s looping? Well its what my husband and I say when we get stuck on something and repeat it more that once. We laugh at ourselves, acknowledge and try to shift the loop. But from a bigger perspective I’ve notice looping can happen for years.
Some of the big goals I set for myself 5 years ago have been accomplished, I learned, earned and am still progressing. Some other goals though, some of the ones I’ve wanted quite badly (or so I thought) are on my mind on a daily, weekly, yearly, basis…
What the heck?
I’m not going to go into the why, I couldn’t even begin to tell you why after gaining some unwanted weight over 5 years ago, I have repeatedly set a goal to shed that weight and yet not achieved that goal. Is it because I don’t want it enough… Well I would say I want it pretty badly, but other than a few pounds here or there the goal just doesn’t happen. Now I use weight as an example because many people can relate but what about other goals? What about those deeper goals, dreams, and desires for our lives?
When you check in with some friends can you predict what they will tell you? The struggles they are having are oddly the same year after year? What about you? Are you telling them the same desires year after year? Relationship struggles, unachieved weight goals? Travel dreams, unhappy at work? Looking for work?
A couple of my loops, things I continually think about but do not attend to
(bear with me I’m going to be vulnerable here)
I’d love to lose 10-15 pounds (I”ve been looping on this one for 4 - 5 years now)
25 years… I’m going to be more organized (there has been some pretty major improvement in this category but still room for major improvement)
For 5 years I’ve wanted to read the bible daily but have not done so consistantly
eating healthy on a regular basis (15 years?)
better awareness/organization of finances… years and years
Forgive that friend who hurt me (truly forgive and release) years
There are shorter loops, ones I’ve only been saying for 2 years or so and I will note that there have been many goals accomplished and dreams achieved and loops broken in the last few years as well.
I’m giving myself a pat on the back for the loops I’ve conquered and with renewed vigor I’m assessing the current loops and finding a way to stop the pattern.
To find your loops call an old friend to catch up or just pretend to … notice when the conversation gets deeper are you telling the same story? Complaining about work? Trying to lose weight? Planning that trip?
Never have enough time off? Disorganized finances? Going to put a system in place for something? Start that back yard project? End that relationship? Work on that relationship? Go to that seminar you’ve always thought about? Quit that habit? Finished that project? Reno’d that room? Still mad at that friend? Forgiven that friend? Cleared out the clutter? Saved that money? Organized your filing cabinet? Assessed and figured out a plan for your debt? Done that vision board? Taken that time out? Gone back to school? Asked for that raise? Got that promotion? Write a blog? Create a logo? Take a course? Write a book? Someone you keep meaning to visit? A trip you’ve dreamt of your whole life?
Once you’ve named and written down the loop (s). Take a step back. Ask yourself if you still want it. Ask yourself how bad…
Then picture yourself achieving it. Picture yourself calling your friend and telling them you’ve done it!
Barring that call a coach they can help you name and break the loop!
Feel the excitement. Name the loop. Break the loop.